My Mom's Poems
For your reading enjoyment
|
My Mom's Poems |
For your reading enjoyment |
The
lyrics of all content are copyrighted. Please do not copy or redistribute.
RULES OF THE ROAD
1. If you're bigger than the other guy, you have the right-of-way.
One exception to the above rule: If the other guy has his arm out the window and a little black thing pointed at you,
be nice. Let him pass.
2. Always carry a spare tire under the trunk floor board out
of the way. Then, pile all the valises, boxes and
assorted "Can't live without" junk" on top. This way
when you have a flat, it makes it more interesting. Also
provides a bit of merriment for the motorists
you passed two miles back. It will really make their
day.
3. If you have kids in the car, be sure and put the
cooler or some other monstrous package between them.
This cuts down on the "He hit me." "Well, she
pushed me first" syndrome.
Alternate Solution: Put the little darlings heads
in the oven before departure. Turn on the gas but
don't light the flame. The little rascals will
sleep for the first fifty miles. (Joke)
4. If you have a camper, include a portable potty for
the long treks between pit-stops. Also saves time
and temper at the pit-stop as you will not have to
wait in line for the three bus loads of tourists
who inevitably arrive one and a half minutes
before you do.
5. Temporary Emergency Aid:
Fan Belt break? Substitute wife's panty hose but
make sure she's not in them at the time. It
worked for us.
6. Last but not least, only speed when in the company of
semi trucks. They have C.B.'s .
Translation: Careful Buddy, Cops Behind.
All set? Bon Voyage! May your Guardian Angel
ride on your front bumper, but DO untie the
dog from the back bumper just in case it can't
keep up with the car. If I'm driving behind
you, I don't want MY car messed up.
Hannah (© 1995)
These poems are the sole property of Hannah T. McElroy and are copyrighted in the period of 1991to 2010 and may not be copied or reproduced without express permission of she and User Friendly Operational Software